hello. its been a while, eh? well... that should stop. i should at least visit with you once in a while instead of quitting entirely because of what one person said one time a long time ago, right? i think so too.

don't correct my grammar. i don't care.

i just feel like saying hello to all the people i haven't said hi to in a while. HI friends! :)

UM. BONNIE, i saw you on the television. like actually saw you. on my most favorite show. you're getting too cool for school, woman. ::shake shake::

ANDREW TRIPP? are you alive? hellloooooo. i was just remembering the time you snuck in my house from the sliding glass door which, by the way, NO one does. and it scared amber and she still doesn't like you. hmm, she should work on things such as that.

who else?

I would like to say hi to the COBBies. Josh and Abbie. I miss having people to letterbox with. you know? i REALLY do. if i come visit LA can we go? plleeeease?

OHHHH AIMEE AUCLAIR, where is your face? why do we not talk? is your fat cat still alive? LETS GO THRIFTING AT VALLEY THRIFT TOMORROW. yes. i say.

MATTHEW BRADFORD MOLBY. is he alive? MATT! are you alive? i want to make videos with you. we can pretend like we are at cedarville again and we will have contests where i will kick you in the pants. ok just kidding, probably not but i'd try. :o) how's your wife? can i still work at your pizza restauraunt?

HARRY BOB. um, is it weird that i miss the long hours in alford with you? and maybe all the times i cried because i had lights and didn't and had them and didn't and had them and didn't? yeah. i miss that.

SUE LAROOROO. and GRANT TOO. i made a rhyme. you two were my first Dinner For Six success story. i am sorry i always forget about you. Susan, are you still creating this with a pretend budget because that was always the way to go. for realio. i want you design me a set and i want grant to build me floating steps. in my house. the end.

JESSICA MICHELLE. i miss you. and i don't even know your last name. i am sorry i did not come to your wedding. i am a bad friend. i hope you're doing well.

MATTHEW EDWARD BERES. i don't even know where you are right now. but i miss laughing with you. and wish you and amber and i could have phone call slumber parties again. those were the best times. then amber got married. and you thumb kissed bonnie. you're still a sexy man. WHAT? where's nathan? why aren't we all singing right now. I AM. make them SING TOO. the shadowbox is still the best thing that's ever happened to me, remember that?

TRACI WEISS not weiss uhh uhh, hang on i know it...ELSHOFF. you'll probably never read this but i'm writing it anyway. i am sorry i always miss your calls and did not get to your wedding. my job makes a lame excuse for missing it even though its true. it wasn't worth not being there for you.

-------------------

i think i could go on for years with name after name. and i think i will later. right now i have to deal with life. the here and now that won't go away until it does. and then it will be time for life to be different again and i will still be the same. i think... i get wrapped up and forget myself sometimes. sometimes for long times. but i always come back. and i am back. and i miss all of you. and i want to know about your lives. and i want to say i'm sorry for getting wrapped up in my own and for not caring enough to keep up with yours. i want to have random call around time and laugh like we used to. and plan visits. and tell you what i'm up to these days because i'm pretty sure it's not what you expected from me. :o)  

i was at cedarville a few days ago just briefly standing in a directing scene of all things (i know... i don't know) and while we pilferred copies from the Alford copier (because that's what all good theatre students do i remembered all the moments hung on the wall (that have to seem ancient to the new students) and wondered where time went. and how it got lost... and i walked to the SSC (the inside of which seemed completely foreign to me) and remembered my first moments at cedarville visiting and then again as a student with no friends wishing i knew people to say hello to as i passed and then again at the moment of realization that i was saying hi to nearly every other person i passed... and suddenly i remembered i hadn't talked to you in ages. and i realized where i am in life right now is not everything and i have let it consume me for far too long. and i am sorry.

my phone number is the same. if you've lost it's on my facebook profile. and i text (i love the text). or message me on IM or email or however you communicate these days. even my cedarville email still forwards if nothing else.

just so you know.


let's.start.at.the.very.beginning.